spud100
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Registered: 12-2017
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Useless Limericks songs
"Well, let me tell ya story about a man named Jed
he took Ellie Mae and he threw her in the bed
He unzipped his zipper and out came a worm
and out of that worm came a bubblin' sperm...cum that is
Well, three months later, she was getting kinda fat
six months later, she was fatter than that
nine months later, we could all hear her scream
and out came a !@#$ named Jethro Bo Dean"[/col]
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"If all of the girls were bells in a tower
And I was a clapper, I'd bang one each hour
Chorus:
Go roll your leg over, roll your leg over
Roll your leg over the man in the moon.
If all of the girls were fish in the ocean
And I was a wave (or whale) I would teach them the motion.
I wish all of the girls were fish in a pool
And I was a whale with a waterproof tool.
If all of the girls were little white rabbits
And I was a hare, I would teach them bad habits.
If all them young ladies was up for improvement.
I'd give them some help with a ball-bearing movement.
If all them young ladies was little white kittens
And I was the tom cat, I'd give them new fittin's
If all them young ladies was B-29's,
And I was a fighter, I'd buzz their behinds.
If all them young ladies was bats in a steeple
And I were a bat---there'd be more bats than people.
If all them young ladies was diamonds and rubies
And I were a jeweler, I'd shine up their boobies.
If all them young ladies was wheels on a car,
Then I'd be the piston and go twice as far.
If all them young ladies was rushes a-growing,
I'd take out my scythe and set out a-mowing.
If all them young ladies was bricks on a pile,
Then I'd be the mason and I'd lay them in style.
If all the young ladies were singing this song
It would be twice as dirty and three times as long."
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There once was a man from Nantucket,
Whose cock was so long he could suck it.
He said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin,
"If my ear were a !@#$ I would !@#$ it!
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A mathematician named Hall
Has One hexahedronical ball,
And the cube of its weight,
Times his pecker's, plus eight
Is his phone number -- give him a call...
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There once was a fellow McSweeney
Who put some gin on his weenie
Just to be couth
He added vermouth
And slipped his girlfriend a martini
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A pirate, history relates
Was scuffling with some of his mates
When he slipped on a cutlass
Which rendered him nutless
And practically useless on dates
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Badd-Boom, Badda-Bing!
Last edited by spud100, 10/12/2019, 3:59 pm
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10/12/2019, 3:57 pm
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greendocnowciv
Registered: 11-2017
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Re: Useless Limericks songs
A fine string of zing, laddie. Not at all useless. I grinned, reading of the sin.
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10/12/2019, 8:56 pm
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